Okay, ladies. Interested in knowing what it’s like to have a 2nd kid? Beginning with maternity leave, this is what you don’t hear from the other moms. I mean, seriously… Why did no one tell us that having a second kid would be so HARD?? It’s not even double the work. It’s MORE than double the work. I am freaking exhausted.

Here’s the deal. My daughter is 26 months old; my son is now 3 months old.

Remember the days of the first go-round of maternity leave with your first kid? You napped when they napped. You watched your favorite shows on Netflix while feeding the little darling. You placed your precious baby in a bouncer in the kitchen so you two could chat or sing while you cooked dinner. Ahhh… that’s the life. (Okay, so it was a little crazier than that while in the moment, but in hindsight it was one of the most peaceful times at home—especially in comparison of what’s to come!)

This time around, however… OY!! You still have to heal from the labor and delivery process. You’ve been through the ringer physically giving birth to your new spawn, so feeling better “down there” simply takes time.

On top of that, you have to feed the baby every 2-4 hours in the first few weeks, which means you’re not getting nearly enough sleep to function like a normal human being.

Now let’s add a rambunctious toddler to the mix. Heaven help me. I mean, I love her dearly but she is not making this transition any easier. Toddler R no longer takes multiple naps throughout the day. She sleeps from 12pm to 2pm. If you can’t get your new little bundle of joy to sleep during that same time, you get NO break… All. Freaking. Day. There’s no napping when the baby naps. Instead, you use that time to actually give the toddler some undivided attention so she doesn’t feel second-class. There’s no watching your favorite shows on Netflix while feeding either kid, cause those shows are likely not kid appropriate. (Well, mine weren’t. I love Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder, Jane the Virgin, etc.) While everyone is awake, you’re trying to entertain the toddler while still enjoying time with your infant. The struggle is real. It’s seriously a juggling act. This alone will challenge your patience and push you to the emotional breaking point—especially since you’re beyond sleep deprived.

Now if you like a tidy home, trying to fit in vacuuming or laundry or dishes into this new juggling act can be a little intense. Eventually, I just focused on one task a day, rotating those tasks throughout the week. So the house never got completely crazy. (Now that I’m back at work full-time, it’s a totally different story cause who has time for that?!)

Oh—and getting two kids out the door to run a simple errand? That’s a LOT of work. There were days I was too tired to leave the house. But then I had to entertain both kids all day which was exhausting. There were days when I wanted to get everyone out of the house for some activity. But the effort to get everyone dressed and in the car was exhausting, not to mention making sure everyone was on their best behavior while out and about. Oy. It was a lose/lose situation at times.

And grocery shopping? With one kid, you can just set her in the appropriate seat in the grocery cart and completely fill up the basket with everything you need for the upcoming week. With two kids, you’ve lost some MAJOR grocery cart real estate. So you either have to make multiple trips to the grocery store each week, or you wait until the kids go to bed in the evenings (with hubby home, of course) and force yourself out of the house when you’re at your most tired point of the day.

*NOTE: I started using Shipt it this week. It’s a service/app where you can order groceries/supplies online from Meijer and said items get delivered to your door by a personal shopper. The cost is totally worth all that time saved when I’m crazy exhausted.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying spending times with these kids, watching them learn and grow. They make me smile and flat-out belly laugh so much! Life is so much better with them here.

I hear this is the hardest stage with them at this particular age. So I’m looking forward to getting to an “easier” spot, all while not wishing their lives away… I NEED to still savor each moment as it comes. They grow up WAY too quickly and I don’t want to miss a second of it.

In fact, I shared a draft of this post with my mom who shared, “Every day is a little bit of the same, but a little bit of different as they grow…when you look back, you won’t remember any of the tired, overwhelmed stuff. You’ll remember the happy moments as well as all the smiles and the hugs!”

So there you have it. And now maternity leave is over. It’s bittersweet being back at work full-time. I love having “me time” where I get to talk to adults and drink coffee while it’s still hot. But I do miss spending so much time with my kiddos. Surely, there’s a perfect balance somewhere. Until then, this is my world. No matter how tough it is, I honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world.