Have you ever hesitated taking toddlers to funerals? Sure, there’s a chance they’re a bit rambunctious or that they’ll laugh in the middle of a serious moment. But I have learned in the last few weeks that young children can add that gentle touch during a very solemn event.
My immediate family has been hit hard this month. Within 10 days, we lost three loved ones. First, my husband’s aunt passed away. A week later, my uncle was in the hospital. On the way there, my mom texted that he was gone. We still went to the hospital to support the family. Then as we were walking to our car, we learned that my cousin was killed by a drunk driver. I tell ya, three deaths in 10 days can mess with your head.
At any rate, all of these losses meant we had quite a few funerals and/or memorial services to attend. We could have found a babysitter for our precious 15-month-old, but we didn’t. Instead, we dressed Baby R in her best black dress and we were on our way. That decision turned out to be a good one for three reasons.
1) Toddlers Make People Smile
Generally speaking, toddlers have a way to make people smile no matter the situation. Young children are unaware of the situation at hand, so they tend to act normal. And that usually means being sweet and goofy at the same time. And who can NOT smile when a toddler is waving while saying “bye bye” to every single person? Who can NOT smile when a toddler is playing “peek-a-boo” in the row in front of you? Toddlers serve as a distraction, which is particularly helpful when trying not to “lose it” in public.
2) Toddlers Make People Forget About Their Own Mortality
Outside of mourning the loss of a loved ones, funerals bring your own mortality to the forefront of your mind. What if this same thing happens to me? How would I live if something tragic happened to my own husband? How many people would show up to my own funeral? Have I lived a full and happy life?
So many questions start running through your head. A toddler has some magical power to make one momentarily forget about those questions. Who can think about death when a young girl is “putting on makeup” using grandma’s hand lotion?
Kids let people focus on the life they have left.
3) Toddlers Represent Life vs. Death
Life goes on. With endings, there are beginnings. Not to downplay the tragic event that brings you to the funeral home, but toddlers bring a sense of life. They are experiencing everything for the first time. Everything is new to them. They breathe new life into this world. New dreams and goals are ahead of them and it is exciting to see all of that unfold.
BONUS REASON: Even though a toddler more than likely won’t understand the significance of death, it is good for them to attend funerals and memorials. They will learn at a young age that it’s all a part of life. Yes, it is sad to say good-bye to someone we love; but it’s all part of this so-called life. And we shouldn’t shield our children from life (the good and the bad). In fact, better for our kids to learn these things within the safe embrace of their parents than on their own in the real world.
We only have two of the three funerals under our belts. But I have no doubt Baby R will bring some joy and laughter once again in a few short weeks.
